that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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