I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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