WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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