I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
