is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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