btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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