never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize