i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize