That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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