I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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