# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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