Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
