Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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