May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
