butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
