But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
