before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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