Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
