that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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