GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
