there's paper in my vomit.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize