Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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