I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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