We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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