You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
