He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
