marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
