I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
