But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
