Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
