i don't like sucking hair
This is not my ceiling
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
