Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
