You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
