I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think your dad took our porno
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
