I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
