somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize