what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
