Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
