I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
