Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
