I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
