I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
