it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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