quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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