new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
