I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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