we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
