You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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