She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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