I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize