Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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(425): View more from Washington

Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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(573): View more from Missouri

We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?

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