it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize