haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
