I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
