i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
