i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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