Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's like heaven, but drunker
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
