Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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