well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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