well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
