Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
